Don’t Have Carrots

Mar, 10 2011 | poeTREE and pROSE | admin | One comment

By Nathalie Vachon

i saw the moon in you

i saw the sea in your heart

the pounding the night you woke me up at 2am or was it 3 to say your heart hurt

you didn’t want to alarm me so at first you said it was your stomach

then told me it was your heart

the pounding in your chest, an ogre’s heart inside a baby’s body

too big for your ribs, you felt it pressing and pounding

a sea, asia, africa, celtic sea salt of sea dreams under the covers

under the roof of OUR house

you ache and fear that i will be panicked by the news

i turn on the light

we drive in hap-hazard clothes, mismatched socks and coats

to emergency

the sea in me rising like a heron

like a call

like a loon on Friday

across my own lunatic city of traffic and rage

we wait hours for tests

and i have walked a hundred days of possible outcomes

you, knowing my fear, watch my tears

a day without you, i can’t imagine

no gardens, no piano on a rainy Sunday

no sparkly eyes, leftover pie

no notes in the morning and no warm stones in the fire

no Mexican sombreros and pesos in the hands I love

the doctor says pericarditis

i blurt out ‘don’t have carrots!’

and finally we laugh

don’t have carrots, don’t have dreams without me,

languid motorcycles in other lives

don’t have the sea in your heart and a hard beating beat of beaded nothing…

without me

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